#if anyone wants to watch a bootleg of company specifically if I can find it hit me upppp (after I move abshdjfkgkglg)

[canisonicscrewyou]

Listening to Company and feeling Gay

[wheresmynaya]

Lopez’s 8 Ch.2 | Brittana

I didn’t expect such a big response for the first chapter LOL I’m glad everyone’s here for this. Thanks for spreading the word! <33

Also available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & below the cut!

The next morning, Santana and Brittany are seated side by side in one of Santana’s favorite cafés. Santana’s stuffing her face with pancakes like she hasn’t eaten in days while Brittany tries to wrap her head around everything Santana has told her about the heist.

When the waitress comes around with Brittany’s hot chocolate and a top-up of Santana’s coffee, Brittany smoothly pulls a flask from her jacket and twists off the lid.

Santana watches as she pours a splash of peppermint schnapps into her mug and starts to stir before concealing the flask again.

“That’s new,” Santana comments with a chuckle, “Did you develop a drinking problem while I was away?”

Brittany rolls her eyes, “No, but I might if you insist on starting every morning like this.”

“Like what?” Santana smiles sweetly, “With breakfast and the pleasure of my company?”

Brittany squints and goes to correct her, “With you tricking me into having breakfast with you so you can bombard me with your dastardly plans on the way here.”

“Admit it, Britt,” Santana says smugly as she sticks her fork through a bite of pancakes, “You’ve missed this. You’ve missed me and all the fun we use to have. Tell me you’re not the least bit interested now that you’ve heard everything.”

Brittany sighs and goes to take a long sip of her hot chocolate.

Santana watches and waits, but Brittany remains quiet. It makes Santana smirk deviously.

“That’s what I thought,” Santana gives her a triumphant grin, “You can’t resist a good thing. You so want this, just say it.”

Brittany scoffs. If she didn’t find Santana’s confidence so damn attractive, she’d roll her eyes at it for the millionth time that morning.

“Okay, so you want to rob a museum…” Brittany clarifies hesitantly after taking another sip.

Santana shakes her head, “Not the museum, just someone in it.”

“That’s right,” Brittany nods, “You want to rob Rachel Berry.”

“Oh my God, Britt!” Santana hushes and eyes around them to see if anyone heard. When the coast is clear she turns back to Brittany with her voice lowered, “Could you be any louder? Who knows who’s listening, she’s like the biggest star right now.”

“I don’t know why,” Brittany scoffs, “You know she pays the paparazzi to follow her around, right?”

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous but so is she,” Santana shrugs, “She’s always causing a scene to get her name on the front page. Remember that one scandal involving a panty raid?”

“How could I forget! She was caught red-handed,” Brittany laughs before her tone grows serious, “Rumor has it that she once ate a bull testicle too.”

Santana frowns in disgust and pauses before taking another bite, “Can you not? I’m eating…”

“That’s her claim to fame, Santana, eating a bull testicle…like singular she didn’t even eat both of them!” Brittany says while she waves her hand around, “It’s such a waste.”

“Well the key words here are rumor has it,” Santana jokes, “Who knows what the hell goes on with her. And besides, why would anyone want to eat a fucking bull testicle in the first place? That’s gross.”

“It’s a delicacy in some places,” Brittany mumbles which earns her a quizzical glare from Santana, “So I’ve heard. People do strange things for fame.”

“Clearly,” Santana replies, “We all know Rachel Berry sucks but she’s the one hosting the Met Gala this year so it’s kind of out of my hands. She’s our mark by like…default.”

“Right,” Brittany nods and goes back to piecing everything together. Her face is cutely screwed up in deep concentration and Santana’s sure Brittany’s about to say that she’s the biggest pain in her ass which Santana’s totally use to hearing by now.

To her surprise, Brittany just let’s out an exhausted sigh.

“There’s no way we’d be able to pull this off with just the two of us,” She says, “There’s too many moving parts, we’d need like a group of 11 to 13 people – “

“Oddly specific,” Santana points out around a mouthful of pancakes while Brittany rambles on.

“ – At the very least and like a whole bunch of money which neither of us has,” Brittany gives her a look, “So how’s that going to work out?”

“Well for starters, we’d only need a team of seven and just a few grand,” Santana answers proudly, “That’s where the credit line I asked about comes into play.”

“Oh, just a few grand? Is that all?” Brittany quips, “You think money grows on trees or something? It doesn’t, I tried. Remember?”

“Yes, yes I remember. The pay-off is going to be big,” Santana jokes back as her voice dips down into a flirty tone, “And I’m sure you can work out something. Give yourself some credit, you can be very persuasive when you want.”

“Well one of us has to be judging by your failed attempt to seduce me yesterday,” Brittany smirks.

“Please. If I was going to seduce you, you’d know it.”

“I’m sure,” Brittany lets out a laugh before getting serious again, “Even if I could manage to get what you need, we’re working with such a tight schedule. We’d need to acquire a whole team like now. It’s crazy talk.”

“No, it’s genius,” Santana corrects her while Brittany takes a sip, “You have got to admit that this is some of my best work, Britt.”

She’s not wrong, it really is a great plan. It’s just that Brittany doesn’t want Santana to get herself locked up again, she doesn’t think she could last that long without having her around, but you only get locked up if you get caught and that has never happened when she and Brittany are together.

It really gets Brittany thinking though, what’s the hurry other than the obvious? Why does it have to be the Met Gala? What isn’t Santana telling her?

“Why do you need to do this?” Brittany asks suddenly and there’s this seriousness in her tone, “Tell me the reason and maybe I’ll consider it.”

Santana’s answer comes easily as she smirks, “Because it’s what I’m good at.”

“Babe, you’re good at a lot of things. Trust me on that, but this?” Brittany shakes her head, “I don’t have a good feeling about this,” Brittany says earnestly.

The old term of endearment falls so easily that Brittany doesn’t realize she says it. They’ve always playfully called each other names like that for years so it’s not big deal, even if Brittany sometimes gets a fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Santana lets out a long sigh and lowers her tone too, “There’s nothing to worry about. I have gone over this thing thousands of times, literally. It’s all I thought about when I was away and I have it perfected. If we get into a bind – which we won’t, probably – I can get us out. It might’ve taken me like three years to get it just right, but it’ll run like clockwork now. I promise.”

What surprises Brittany is the fact that Santana holds out her pinky to her.

“No. Don’t do that,” Brittany scoffs and points at Santana’s hand, “Pinky promises are reserved for promises that you can keep.”

“I know,” Santana replies and inches closer, “Why do you think I’m doing this?”

Brittany’s slow to answer and instead just stares down at her mug.

“Listen,” Santana adds in this husky tone and puts down her fork altogether to give Brittany her full attention. She has her serious voice on now too when she says, “I need you with me, B.”

Brittany bites her lip to keep from smiling as she peeks up at Santana. The brunette is staring back with these pleading big, brown eyes and Brittany struggles against the pull. She can feel herself caving the longer she stares back though, because feeling needed? By Santana? That’s Brittany’s kryptonite.

But Santana knows that too and Brittany can’t give into her so easily.

“Why can’t you find someone else if it’s so important for you to do?�� Brittany asks but again Santana is too quick to answer.

“It has to be you and me leading this thing. That’s the only way this will work.”

“You’re just saying that,” Brittany brushes off with the shake of her head. She tries to make light of the situation, “You’ve found someone else before. That’s how Dani came into the picture, right? You can do it again. Maybe the next person will have green hair this time?”  

Brittany sees that she has struck a nerve with the way Santana takes a sharp inhale at the blow, but the brunette remains persistent despite the waver.

“I can’t do this with anyone else,” Santana says simply, “There’s no one like you, Britt.”

Her words and her tone has Brittany’s playful smirk falling and the blonde looks to Santana almost in wonderment. Those words Santana said, she rarely hers them. Or rather, she rarely believes them but when they come from Santana it means something different altogether.

Brittany trusts her – well, they trust each other – and that’s rare in their industry. Con artists don’t trust anyone and they can’t be trusted either. That’s just how it is, but it’s always been different for them.

“Don’t you want out of the bootlegging biz?” Santana asks to fill the silence.

Brittany’s smirk returns, “That’s not what it’s called anymore…”

“Whatever, you know what I mean,” Santana shrugs and finds Brittany’s eyes, “You’re better than that watered down shit, that I know. Don’t waste your talents on it, Britt. Do this thing with me instead. Please.”

It takes Brittany a moment for Santana’s words to sink in, but then she’s letting out a telltale sigh of defeat. She doesn’t even have to say anything, Santana just knows she has won this round.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” Brittany finally agrees aloud and takes Santana’s pinky in hers, “You happy now? You’ve successfully corrupted me.”

“Don’t pin that on me! You were like that before I even met you,” Santana grins, “But yes, I’m very happy.”

Brittany keeps her pinky curled around Santana’s for a second longer as she says, “Good, but just know I’m only agreeing to this because I like how you sound when you say please.”

“I know you do,” Santana winks. She pauses there for a second, admiring the way Brittany’s cat-like eyes darken in a way that occasionally has one of them being dragged off to a bathroom stall. Santana stays focused though and goes to pick up her fork again before offering a bite to Brittany, “Now taste this before it gets cold.”

“But I’m not hungry.”

“Liar,” Santana accuses playfully, “You’re always hungry.”

“Yeah, but not for pancakes.”  

Brittany gives Santana a proud smirk to which Santana rolls her eyes, “Just take a bite.”  

Brittany looks down at the offered fork warily then back into Santana’s hopeful eyes. She rocks the fork from side to side like she’s trying entice her with it. Ultimately Brittany rolls her eyes and succumbs to Santana yet again. She lets Santana guide the small bite into her mouth and hums almost instantly at the taste.

“Tastes like clouds,” Brittany’s in awe and goes to grab her own fork.

“Told you,” Santana smirks and slides her plate closer so that Brittany can help herself.

“So this team you’re talking about,” Brittany mumbles with her mouth full, “Got anyone in mind?”

Santana bobs her head from side to side, “Possibly. That’s what I’ll need your help with first, partner.”

Brittany smiles deviously at her new title, “Let’s hurry up and get to work then!”    

\\

They’re back at the loft and have cleared off the dining table so that it’s now covered in headshots and resumes. Santana and Brittany have been rifling through the paperwork for hours now trying to select the perfect person for job.

“What about this one?” Santana suggests and pushes the fashion designer’s details across the table towards Brittany.

Brittany pushes her laptop out of the way and goes to take a look at the profile. After once glance, she quickly shakes her head and throws the paper off to the side with a, “Nope.”

Santana gasps and goes to pick it up, “Why not? She’s young, she’s well-known, she’s – “

“Got a record,” Brittany fills in.

“Don’t we all?” Santana smirks.

Brittany narrows her eyes, “Not the kind of record you want around this type of job. Holly Holliday is a flight risk. She rarely completes a job. I don’t want us to worry about whether or not she’ll stick around long enough to see this through.”

“Well, there’s millions of dollars in it for her if she does,” Santana replies sarcastically.

Brittany gives her a look, “It’s a big if, Santana. We can find someone better.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll keep looking,” Santana sighs and goes back to searching.

“Ah, how about him?” Brittany suggests a moment later and reveals a picture of world-renowned designer Kurt Hummel.

Santana waves him off, “No. No boys allowed.”

“Not even a gay one?” Brittany asks and goes to frown at the picture, “He’d be perfect for this. Impressive portfolio, easily intimidated yet highly motivated by the potential pay-off.  Just look at his porcelain face.”

“Porcelain cracks with enough pressure,” Santana replies matter-of-factly, “If he someone gets picked up, we need to make sure he doesn’t start singing and with a face like that? I’m sure he’d sing his ass off.”

“True,” Brittany pouts at his picture, “I bet he gives really facials though.”

Santana fakes a gag, “Gross, Britt.”

“What? I was talking about skin care. See?”

Santana glances up to find Brittany looking genuine as she holds up his picture. She smiles apologetically and shakes her head, “It’s still a no. I’m going for all-girl here. We can’t have a guy in the group, even if his face does look baby-butt smooth. Besides, he’s rich already. We need someone who needs us.”

“Alright,” Brittany shrugs and sets down the picture.

A few moments later Santana plucks another profile from the stack and shows it to Brittany, “What about this one? Pretty sure we’ve worked with her before actually…”

Brittany reads the name April Rhodes and starts to chuckle, “I remember her! She got caught trying to smuggle a whole butterball turkey out from this banquet dinner…between her legs. ”

“Stuffing and all,” Santana recalls and goes to read the profile again, “She’s down for anything and she’s a talker too. Perfect for what we need. Now she’s apparently into fashion?”

“More like rehab,” Brittany corrects after doing a quick search on her laptop. She turns the screen to Santana, “Been in there now for six weeks.”

“Damn it! Third time’s the charm I guess,” Santana shrugs, “We’ll keep looking.”

A few more failed attempts later, Brittany starts to giggle to herself. Santana wonders how late it is and if Brittany is starting to get a little delirious.

“What?” Santana asks.

“I’m beginning to think you have a type,” Brittany teases while she taps away on her laptop.

“A type?”

“Mhmm,” Brittany hums without looking up.

Santana frowns, “I don’t have a type.”

“All your suggestions have been blonde and blue-eyed,” Brittany points out, “Hate to break it to you, honey, but you have a type.”

“My ex has blue hair, blue. That totally cancels out your theory.”

“But she was blonde when you met her,” Brittany grins and peeks over the screen of her laptop, “Admitting you have a type is the first step to recovery.”

“Oh is it?” Santana quirks her brow, trying to brush it off, “You sure that’s not addiction?”

“Same difference.”

Santana shakes her head, “Let’s just focus here.”

Although now that Brittany has mentioned, she’s become really aware of the last four people she has suggested. She didn’t know she was doing it – obviously – but now that Brittany’s pointed it out, she’ll just have to be more observant.

She doesn’t have a type, she just has standards and coincidentally those standards have been met by people who just so happened to be blonde and blue-eyed.

Does that mean she has a type? Of course not.

That’s when her eyes catch a profile she hasn’t suggested yet. She plucks up the paper and skims the details. Her smile grows the more she reads.

“She’s the one,” Santana mumbles and turns the paper to show Brittany, “This is our fashion designer and look, she isn’t blonde.”

Brittany scans the information and Santana watches her smile grow too.

“Let’s go get her.”

\\

Brittany manages to gain her and Santana entry into the designer’s next fashion show which just so happens to be the worst hour and a half they have experienced in a long time. Santana actually feels sorry for the models because any outfit that consists of a gigantic, floppy bow tied around your neck paired with a buttoned-up cardigan that is the same color as mashed up peas and carrots is just a travesty.

“I don’t know, Britt,” Santana whispers as another model walks by, “I’m having second thoughts. This is horrible, just look at that one’s shoes.”

Brittany glances over just in time to see Santana cringe. She does her best to stifle her laugh as she whispers back, “She doesn’t have to appeal to us, remember? She has to appeal to Rachel Berry, the same Rachel Berry who coined the term Sexy Librarian Chic.”

Santana nods, “You’re right. We need someone with just as horrible taste as her.”

“Exactly,” Brittany smiles down at Santana encouragingly, “We’ve found our designer for sure.”

\\

It’s hard for Santana and Brittany to sit through the entire show without screwing their faces up in disgust, but they manage to pull through and once the show ends they go off to find their designer.

It doesn’t take long though. When they find who they’re looking for, she’s huddled up in a corner surrounded by used disinfectant wipes. She’s in the middle of furiously scrubbing a high heel while she recovers from sobbing when Santana and Brittany walk up.

“Hi. Are you Emma?” Brittany asks softly, “Emma Pillsbury?”

The designer looks absolutely wrecked with her mascara running down her cheeks and this panicked look in her eye. It kind of freaks Santana out at first glance.

The red-haired woman hiccups as she looks to them, “Yes?”

“Awesome,” Brittany shows off that infectious, mega-watt grin and takes another step closer, “We’re big fans of your work.”

“You are?” Emma doesn’t look too sure.

“Of course,” Brittany shrugs casually and kicks away some of the used wipes so that she can perch herself on an upturned crate near the woman, “I would’ve never thought to pair a lime green cardi with mustard yellow loafers.”

“That’s because you have taste,” Santana jokes purely because she can’t help herself.

Brittany shoots her a glare and quickly tries to do some damage control before Emma starts to hyperventilate again, “You’re a fashion icon, Emma.”

“Tell that to the debt collectors,” Emma frowns, “I’m a failure. There’s no way I can come back from this. I put everything I had left into this show. It’s only a matter of time before everything’s taken from me.”

Brittany softens at Emma becoming increasingly distressed. Deep down, she feels a little bad for the woman. She seems like a nice person, genuine enough, and completely broke.

She’s the perfect person for the job.

“What if we told you that we can make this all go away?” Santana speaks up when she finds Brittany getting swept up in her feelings.

Emma blinks and glances between the two women skeptically, “I wouldn’t believe you.”

“Well start believing because we can,” Santana says through her smirk.

“What do you have in mind?” Emma questions.

Santana glances to Brittany and gives her a nod, almost as if she’s passing the mic.

“Dress Rachel Berry for the Met Gala,” Brittany supplies quietly so that only the three of them can hear.

Emma spurts out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious.”

Santana and Brittany remain stoic and it has Emma’s smile falling instantly.

“You’re serious,” Emma says gravely.

“We are,” Santana nods.

“Rachel Berry?” Emma pushes the idea away, “She’s…I’ve never dressed anyone with her kind of star power. How would I even be an option for her?”

“Come with us and we’ll explain everything,” Brittany offers.

Emma looks a little like a frightened doe but she stands regardless and agrees to follow them out to their car. It’s actually really concerning how little effort they had to use in order to get Emma to agree to a meeting, but they aren’t complaining too much.

\\

Once they get back to the loft, Brittany pulls up a picture of the most blingiest bling that ever blinged: the Toussaint. Emma’s eyes go wide at that size of the diamonds encased in the necklace while Santana gives a vague rundown of how Rachel Berry, the Toussaint, and Emma all play an important role in the outcome of this heist.

Unlike Brittany, Emma only needs to hear the parts of the plan that she’s directly involved with so it doesn’t take as long for the designer to get her head wrapped around the opportunity.

“I still don’t understand how you expect me to get a hold of this necklace,” Emma says a bit later, “And frankly, I think it’s too gaudy for the work I’m known for.”

“Known for? That’s a reach,” Santana teases lowly but plasters on an encouraging smile as she turns to face her again, “This necklace has history. It’s perfect for this year’s theme and if it’s Rachel Berry we’re talking about…the bigger the bling, the better. They’ll lend it out if it’s for her.”

Emma sighs but ultimately lets Santana sway her, “Okay, I can do this.”

“Yeah you can!” Brittany cheers before glancing to Santana and sending her a wink.

Santana ignores how her stomach flips at the sight and goes back to explaining what they need Emma to do first.

\\

Later that night, Santana and Brittany are back on the hunt again for their next recruit. Brittany’s eyes are starting to do that thing where they sting whenever she blinks, so she looks over to Santana who is fully immersed in her search.

“Can we take a break?” Brittany asks, “I’m getting snacky.”

“You’re always snacky,” Santana chuckles as Brittany goes to stand. She doesn’t even notice Brittany rounding the table until her warm hands squeeze tenderly at her shoulders. She feels Brittany’s thumbs dig into her tight muscles, working out the tension there, and she can’t help but moan at the sensation.

“Come on. Take a break,” Brittany husks as her hands continue to work, “We’ve been going at it all day.”

Santana can practically hear the smugness in her tone for that innuendo; Brittany can be the biggest tease sometimes and that’s coming from her.

She stays focused on the task at hand though, “I’m close, Britt. I can feel it.”

“I haven’t heard that in awhile,” Brittany chuckles darkly as she withdraws her hands and goes looking for a snack.

Santana raises a brow, “I find that hard to believe.”

“You’re right,” Brittany says as she goes to lean against the kitchen counter with an apple in hand. She looks back at Santana with this mischievous glint in her eye, “What I meant to say was that I haven’t heard that from you in awhile.”

Santana lets out a laugh but Brittany just takes a bite of her apple, never breaking eye contact. In fact, her smug grin grows as she chews.

“And I’m sure you want to change that?” Santana asks as her voice dips into that deliciously raspy-hot-as-hell tone of hers, “Don’t you?”

“Is that an invitation?” Brittany practically purrs after wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“You find me a hacker and we’ll see where your luck takes you.”

Brittany sinks her teeth into the apple then snatches up a bag of chips and a beer before retuning to the search with a renewed enthusiasm. It takes her all of twenty minutes before she’s stumbling upon someone promising.

\\

“Can I borrow your car?” Santana asks the next day while Brittany is busy at work trying to sift through potential people needed for other roles in the heist.

“Which one?”

“Any.”

The blonde shrugs, “Sure. Where’re you going? Paying another friend a visit?”

Santana smirks, “Something like that.”

Brittany gives her a questioning look before going to grab the keys, “Can I come?”

“Not yet,” Santana answers, “But I’ll need your help a little later.”

“Sure,” Brittany shuffles through the mix for Santana’s favorite and tosses them over to her, “I just filled that one up too.”

Santana smiles sweetly and comes over to press a chaste kiss to Brittany’s cheek in thanks, “I’ll see you later. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m out.”

“Speak for yourself,” Brittany chuckles although she can feel a blush blossoming at the feel of Santana’s lip on her skin. God, she’s so sex-deprived. If just a little kiss on the cheek gets her going, who knows what’ll happen if Santana leaves one on her lips next.

The brunette gives her one last wave of her fingers before she heads out, leaving Brittany to distract her wandering thought by looking up that possible hacker’s details and setting up a meeting.

\\

Awhile later, Santana finds herself standing across the street from a jeweler she once tagged along with her father to when she was younger. Her father and the shop owner were close friends back in the day, and judging by her father’s reputation, she’s sure the shop owner must’ve dabbled into the business as well otherwise, why would they be so close?

Santana remembers playing with the owner’s daughter every once in awhile though when she and her father would come by. Word on the street is that the daughter took over the business after the owner’s passing, so it’s only natural that Santana returns now.

They both have followed in their fathers’ footsteps in a way and she’s sure they could be of use to each other.

Santana waits for the jeweler in the window to notice her watching from across the way. When she finally does, she quickly speaks to her colleague before making her exit.

Santana smiles politely as the other woman nears, she looks like she has barely aged since the last time she saw her.

“Hey Tina,” Santana greets.

“Santana, Hi!” Tina replies happily, “God, it’s been a long time. I haven’t seen you since the funeral.”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” Santana says vaguely, “How’s business?”

“It’s okay,” Tina shrugs as her smile falls, “We’re going through a little rough patch at the moment, but we’ll be okay. What brings you out this way?”

“Well, I kind of need your help with something,” Santana tells her.

Tina’s voice lowers, “Is everything okay? I heard you were in jail…”

“Yeah, I was,” Santana answers with a chuckle and goes to check her watch, “You got time for a walk? I can explain everything.”

Tina glances over at the shop for a moment before she nods, “Yeah, of course. What do you need help with?”

\\

Santana breezes into the loft awhile later with the biggest of grins on her face.

“Got a jeweler!” She says proudly as she shrugs out of her blazer. When she doesn’t hear a reply she ventures in deeper and calls out, “Britt? You here?”

“Yeah!” Brittany answers back and Santana follows the sound of her voice around the corner.

She finds the blonde seated next to a woman she recognizes from Brittany’s pile of suggestions but she still has questions. The two of them are squeezed in on a loveseat that Santana totally forgot about and they’re both staring down as the woman’s fingers type furiously at her laptop.

“What’s going on here? Who the hell are you?” Santana asks, but her tone comes out way more aggressive than she intended.

Brittany looks up questioningly upon hearing the snap, “This is Mercedes. She’s our new hacker.”

“I didn’t agree to anything yet,” Mercedes corrects her.

Santana’s brow rises as she looks from the woman to Brittany, “You chose someone named after a car?”

Mercedes gives Santana a look, the first time she’s torn her eyes away from the screen, but Brittany cuts in before anything happens.

“She’s really great, Santana,” Brittany tells her and goes to pat her thigh, “Come sit, she’s already infiltrated the museum’s security system.”

“What?” Santana gasps and quickly comes in close, foregoing Brittany’s lap so she can see the screen. Sure enough, it’s all there: access to every camera in the entire building.

“Is this what you’re looking for?” Mercedes asks casually.

“Yup,” Brittany beamed and looked to Santana who was now pressed up against her shoulder, “What do you think?”

“Anyone can hack into some cameras,” Santana waves off as she pushes away from Brittany to stand, “What else can you-“

Suddenly all the lights in the loft went out and the three of them were plunged into darkness for a few seconds until the sound of a mouse click turned them back on.

Mercedes smirks at the dumbfounded look on Santana’s face, “It took me a matter of seconds to run this place. Whoever is in charge of your busted ass security system here should be fired.”

When Santana’s only reply is a dropped jaw, Brittany takes that as all the approval she needs and enlists Mercedes on the spot.

\\

Once Mercedes heads out, Santana and Brittany set off on their next task for the day. This one is something Brittany’s been organizing while Santana was off meeting with Tina, so she fills Santana in on the way to the restaurant where they’re meant to meet Emma.

Brittany takes the lead on this one, telling the designer that the mission here is to make Rachel Berry as jealous as possible so that she’ll stop at nothing to nab Emma Pillsbury as her fashion designer for the Gala. Emma’s not so sure she’s following along, but Brittany tells her not to worry about it and just do what they talked about earlier while Santana was away.

Emma nods resolutely and heads inside while Santana and Brittany hang by the car.

“Who’s she meeting with?” Santana asks.

“You’ll see,” Brittany answers, “You aren’t the only one who has a few tricks up her sleeve.”

Santana tilts her head to the side in wonder, but Brittany just leans against the car with her arms crossed and rests her head back to soak in the warm sunlight.

Santana watches with awe, the way sunrays halo her makes Brittany look almost angelic. Santana knows that couldn’t be further from the truth though and the thought makes her smirk.

They stand there a moment longer somewhat watching from the window as Rachel Berry’s biggest rival, Sunshine Corazon, enters the restaurant and walks over to the table where Emma is seated. The singer and designer talk excitedly while Brittany pulls a camera from the car and pops off the lens cover.

“Hold this,” She directs and passes it to Santana before walking over to snap a couple pictures of the two carrying on. Santana watches curiously until Brittany returns to her side, “You know how much we can get for pictures like these? Could easily pay for nice meal and a few drinks.”

“Is that your way of asking me on a date?” Santana snickers as she passes Brittany the lens cap.

“Date?” Brittany feigns surprise, “You don’t date. At least that’s what you told me before you started dating Dani.”

Santana let’s out a deep sigh at another one of Brittany’s Dani-related jabs, “You’re never going to let that go, huh?”

“Nope,” Brittany grins, “Especially because she got you arrested once.”

“Not funny,” Santana huffs and goes to cross her arms.

Brittany’s quick to slip her hand between them though and slides down Santana’s forearm so that her pinky locks with the brunette’s, “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad.”

Santana rolls her eyes at the sickeningly sweet tone but she can’t help the smile that forms. When it comes to Brittany, sometimes she really can’t help herself. She’s like putty in her hands, but that goes both ways at times too.

“Oh look, Emma’s coming out now,” Brittany points out as she drops Santana’s pinky and goes to stow away the camera.

Santana hates how she already misses the closeness but pushes away the feeling and gets back into the car along with Brittany and Emma.

\\

When the pictures of Emma’s lunch with Sunshine Corazon are released to the public it only takes a matter of minutes before Rachel Berry’s manager is calling to book Emma for the Gala.

“Mission accomplished,” Brittany smirks and pumps her fist in the air, “And I got a couple hundred bucks for the pictures!”

“Big money,” Santana teases.

Brittany continues to smirk as she closes the distance between them, “What’d you say we blow this popsicle stand and grab a drink?”

“Tempting,” Santana says as Brittany’s eyes linger on Santana’s lips, “But I’ve got work to do.”

Brittany let’s out a sigh and turns away, “You’re no fun.”

\\

“Okay so here me out,” Brittany begins as she and Santana walk down a crowded street, “This girl is a little out there but she’s got the best hands I’ve ever seen.”

Santana quirks a brow, “I’m offended.”

“Hey, it’s been awhile,” Brittany replies with a wink, “You might need to refresh my memory.”

“Yeah, you’d love that would you?” Santana laughs.

“You have no idea. Come on,” Brittany smirks then grabs onto Santana’s wrist to pulls her through a crowd surrounding a busker.

It’s a tight fit so Santana hooks her fingers into Brittany’s belt loops and practically molds herself to the blonde’s back – you know, so they don’t get separated.

Brittany loves every minute of it of course.

Santana also doesn’t mind the closeness too much either.

“She’s there,” Brittany points out to the girl doing some trick with a few red solo cups.

Santana rolls to the tips of her toes to get a better look which makes Brittany chuckle.

“Come here, shorty,” She teases and pulls the girl around to stand in front of her instead. Her hands linger on Santana’s hips, “Can you see now?”  

“Yeah,” Santana mumbles and watches the girl in front of them work her magic on some tourist.

She’s quick with her hands and just as charismatic as Brittany too but there’s something about her that’s a little too flashy. Maybe it’s the hot pink, furry vest she wears or the heart-shaped sunglasses sitting atop her head. Santana has no idea, but the girl’s swift nab of the man’s watch without him knowing has her interests piqued.

“See what I mean?” Brittany nudges Santana.

“She’s good,” Santana agrees and as the crowd starts to disperse she and Brittany head over.

“Hey hotties,” The girl greets and does a quick nod so that her sunglasses fall over her eyes. She points over to Santana’s watch, “That’s nice.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Santana smirks.

The girl tilts her head to the side and looks between them, “You 5-0?”

Santana and Brittany look to each other and laugh wholeheartedly.

“Fuck no!”

“Yeah, no way!” Brittany adds too, “What’s your name, kid?”

“Sugar,” The girl supplies and Santana’s sure the girl is lying, “Why?”

“Well Sugar, we were just admiring your special talents,” Santana says smoothly, “Got time for a chat?”

“Time is money,” Sugar replies looking skeptic, “So unless there’s something in it for me, the answer is no.”

“Oh, there’s definitely going to be something in it for you,” Brittany tells her with a grin, “Come take a walk.”

Sugar eyes the two warily, “I’ll go…but only if you buy me a bubble tea.”

“A what?” Santana frowns.

“It’s a drink,” Brittany chuckles, “You’ve never had it?”

“No?”

“Have you been living under a rock?” Sugar gasps.

“No, I’ve been in jail.”

“San,” Brittany hushes, not wanting to scare the girl off but to both of their surprise Sugar looks even more interested than ever before.

“What’d you do?” Sugar asks as her smile widens.

“You don’t just ask people that,” Santana scoffs, “That’s exactly how you get shanked.”

“Do you have a shank?”

“What.”

“Can I see it?”

“Anyway!” Brittany claps to get both of their attention, “So bubble tea, we need to get you one asap!” Brittany answers as she licks her slips. The movement of her tongue catches Santana’s eye which has her watching very, very closely, “I’m getting thirsty just thinking about it.”

“Yeah, imagine how I feel. I’ve been lifting things off tourists all day in this heat,” Sugar pulls out a wad of ones and starts to fan herself with it.

“Heat? It’s barely 70 degrees out,” Santana laughs, “Maybe if you’d lose that ridiculous vest-“

“The thirst is still real!” Sugar tells them then glances to Santana with a smirk, “I’m sure you know something about it judging by the way you just eye-fucked blondie here.”

Brittany’s brows shoot up as she turns to Santana. She presses her hand to her chest in surprise, “You did what now?”

Santana ignores Brittany’s teasing and narrows her eyes on the girl, “Fine. We’ll get you your dumb drink and then we’ll talk.”

Sugar beams, “Perfect.”

\\

Later that night, Santana and Brittany are lounging on the couch with their feet propped up on the coffee table. They’ve both had the longest day ever so far and can barely keep their eyes open long enough to scarf down dinner. They have the tv on but Santana isn’t really watching, her head is too full of scattered thoughts and schemes to focus on anything else.

Brittany seems to notice and goes to turn down the volume.

“You don’t stop, do you?” She asks Santana.

The brunette is slow to answer but Brittany’s not sure if that’s because she’s so deep in thought or just exhausted. When she lets out a yawn, Brittany gets her answer.

“There’s only one more person that we need,” Santana tells her like Brittany doesn’t know, “One more and that’s the whole team.”

“Yeah, I get that but you didn’t answer my question,” Brittany replies softly. She moves to brush Santana’s hair behind her ear then keeps her hand pressed against Santana’s cheek, “You’re gonna burn out if you keep at it like this.”

Santana smiles apologetically and overlaps Brittany’s hand with hers, “I won’t. We’re almost there. Once the team is complete then we can breathe a little. I know what I’m doing, Britt, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Hard not to,” Brittany shrugs as she pulls her hand out from underneath Santana’s.

Santana watches as her features harden a little and she wonders why that is.

Their dynamic has always been a little unconventional, especially when the casual sex became a thing, and maybe once upon a time they could’ve really been something but nothing ever happened. Santana doesn’t date – not really – and Brittany never voiced her feelings if she had them so here they are: just a couple of friends who are gay and do crime.

Is it a dangerous combo considering their past and the crazy amount of sexual chemistry?

Probably, but it works for them.

“Can I borrow a car again tomorrow?” Santana asks, wanting to fill the heavy silence.

“You know, you don’t have to ask every time right?” Brittany says with her head cocked to the side, “As long as you don’t crash any of them, I don’t care.”

“I was just checking,” Santana nods as Brittany turns back to the tv screen, “I’m going upstate tomorrow.”

“Let me guess,” Brittany replies, “To see a friend?”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t want me to come.”

Santana sighs, “It’s not that I don’t want you to. There’s things to be done here and I don’t want both of us to be away if it’s not needed. We’re on such a tight schedule.”

“I know,” Brittany reaches over to squeeze Santana’s knee, “I just wish you weren’t so cryptic all the time. You’re my best friend, my partner-in-crime. You should tell me things.”

Santana bites her lip. Sometimes Brittany makes things sound so easy, so simple.

“I’m sorry, Britt. I didn’t realize…”

“It’s fine,” Brittany says earnestly, “I’m not mad. It’s just something I’ve noticed lately.”

“Yeah,” Santana mumbles as she starts to get lost in her thoughts.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Brittany says a moment later and gives Santana’s knee one more squeeze as she stands, “Night, Santana.”

“Goodnight Britt,” Santana says back and watches the blonde make her way up the stairs. She feels a sudden heaviness but she isn’t what caused it. Instead, she just chalks it up to being tired and heads off to bed a little while later too.

\\

Santana leaves at the crack of dawn the next day in hopes of beating the traffic. Brittany isn’t even awake yet, but she feels weird leaving the loft without saying anything so she scribbles down a quick note and slides the piece of paper under Brittany’s bedroom door before heading off:

Hey B,

Off to see that ‘friend’ I’ll be home before dinner. Have a good morning! Xo

– S

\\

As Santana follows the winding road through a neighborhood of massive, cookie-cutter houses, she can’t help but roll her eyes at how basic it all is. If it weren’t for a familiar SUV parked in the driveway, Santana would’ve driven right pass her intended destination.

She parks her car a little ways down the road and walks up, already dialing the number.

It rings once, twice, three times but on the fourth someone finally answers.

“Santana?”

“Hey Q,” Santana smirks at the surprise she hears. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get over it, “How are you these days?”

“Uhm, good?”

“And the kid?”

“Also good.”

“That’s good.”

“Are you calling just to ask how I am? Because that’s very odd and completely unlike you.”

“Checking in on one of my oldest friends is unlike me?” Santana answers as she walks up the woman’s driveway and easily unlocks the side gate.

“Uh, yeah. It is.”

“That’s rude.”

“No, it’s accurate. I thought you were in jail.”

“I was. Got out on good behavior.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true.”

“Well, congrats. Now, what do you really want?

Santana wanders into her garage, “For you to come out for a chat.”

The woman laughs down the line, “I don’t even know where you live anymore, Santana.”

“That’s fine,” Santana says, “I’ve come to you.”

“What?”

“I’m in your garage, Fabray.”

“What?!”

Santana soon hears a door leading into the garage open and someone call out, “Mommy will be right back, Beth!” Then it closes and fast footsteps approach until the blonde rounds on Santana. She flinches as the surprise, “What the hell, Lopez!”

“Hey Quinn,” Santana grins as she hangs up the phone and slips it into her pocket.

Quinn shakes her head and laughs, “What the hell are you doing in my garage?”

“Like I said,” Santana shrugs while her eyes go to roam all of the expensive appliances surrounding the room, “I’m here for a chat.”

After knowing Santana almost as long as Brittany has, Quinn knows exactly what that means and goes to cross her arms, “I’m retired.”

Santana rolls her eyes, “People come out of retirement all the time and after you hear what I’ve got up my sleeve you’ll do the same.”

“No, no,” Quinn waves off, “I don’t want to hear what you have to say, Santana. I have to think about my – “

“Family because you’re a mother, “ Santana fills in sarcastically, “I know, I was there when you gave birth for some odd reason.”

“You and Brittany offered!”

“I was just being nice, I didn’t actually want to go,” Santana replies, “That shit scarred me for life! Like, is your vagina okay now?”

Quinn gives her a tired look, “You did not just ask me that.”

“I’m just saying,” Santana holds up her hands in defense, “That was the most fucked up thing I’ve ever se-“

“Mommy!” A small person suddenly cries out as the garage door slams open. The sudden sound has Quinn shoving Santana to the side out of her daughter’s sight, “I’m hungry!”

“Okay baby, I’ll fix you a snack in just a second,” Quinn calls out. She catches Santana mimicking her and slaps her shoulder, “Are you going to tell me why you’re here or not?”

“I need a Fence,” Santana says simply, “I’ve got something big going here and you’re the best of the best.”

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Quinn eyes her curiously, “But I’m not doing it. Like I said, I’m retired. “

“Bullshit,” Santana scoffs as she looks around at all the stolen goods, “You’re bored with the whole Suzy Homemaker front because if you weren’t you wouldn’t have all this crap hiding in your garage.”

Quinn softens and eyes Santana analytically, “How much are we talking?”

“A lot,” Santana smirks and leans in to whisper Quinn’s proposed cut.

Quinn’s jaw drops at the sound of the amount.

“Sound good to you?”

Quinn sputters out a laugh, “Uh yeah, sounds very good.”

“Excellent,” Santana beams and calls over her shoulder as she turns to leave, “Team meeting is on Monday. Don’t be late.”

“Wait, you have a whole team?”

Santana smirks, “I do now.”

[rayroute-clear-saeran-text-sound]

BRO I WANT A MYSTIC MESSENGER SHIP!!!! You already know my name! I always tell everyone that I am a mixture of a dolphin and lin Manuel miranda: talented but I don't shut up. Big musical energy with every genre of music imaginable. I love food and going to cool places and Disneyland! Movies are also a big yes for me (specifically marvel, star wars, disney, pixar!) I love art and am planning on getting a major in graphic design! I've been told that I am very positive and can get along with anyone

Aye, that’s my best friend!! I included details that you didn’t put down, because I love you <333 

I pair you with Zen!

He was enraptured by your positivity, and knew immediately that he was going to be in love with you. He was super impressed with your ability to get along with Jumin, even if you didn’t like him, yet at the same time, super pissed and jealous. 

 Adding on to that, he was equally happy and irritated that you got along so well with the rest of the RFA. He knows deep down that you only have eyes for him, but he’s still very insecure about it. He’s a majorly jealous guy. 

 He is absolutely glad that you share his hatred for cats. Although it may be for a different reason than his allergy, he is so thrilled that you will decline cat-related guests and try to change the subject whenever talk drifts to anything in the realm of felines.

 He is fascinated by your art, and tries to get you to teach him at first, but decides that it’s a hopeless cause. He absolutely begs you for a painting for his birthday (of course it would be of himself, because what a narcissist), and probably cries when you give it to him. Once he receives it, he will absolutely not stop hugging and cuddling you for the rest of the day. Most likely, he hangs it front in center where he can stare at it and show it to anyone who visits.

 He will get you lots of graphic design jobs by putting your name and work out within his musical community, and eventually you get many job offers to design promotional posters for musicals. Some of them Zen star in, some have nothing to do with him. He knows you are capable of finding work without his help, but he wants you to have as many opportunities as possible, because he knows what it’s like to be starting out and struggling to force your way into the field.

 This mans doesn’t hate animals, but isn’t totally in love with them, either. He had never really been around horses before, and never thought he would be nervous around them at all. But, when you took him out to the barn, he was unexpectedly intimidated by them. Eventually, he grew used to them, and would probably even ask for you to teach him to ride (nothing complicated, just simple walk, trot, canter) after learning that it’s actually good excercise. He gets really annoyed whenever they snot and sneeze on him though.

 He could be convinced to get a dog, and whenever you were off staying the night visiting family or friends, he would cuddle with it as much as possible because it reminded him of you. Plus, he would take it out on runs with him whenever he couldn’t sway you to go.

 He knows that you hate running and hiking, which are two of his favorite hobbies. He’ll try his best to get you to go on walks, maybe even a run or hike if you’re really feeling generous. He rarely succeeds, but when he does, he’s usually met with complaints throughout the activity. 

 He absolutely cherishes the chill nights he spends with you watching movies on weekends. Although you both love your friends in the RFA, you haven’t exactly been innocent of cancelling plans with the group on Friday nights to stay home for cuddles and film. He always teases you for your youthful taste in movies, but deep down those are some of his favorites, too. 

 If you two ever showered together, it would be 100% just singing show tunes together. Broadway is his passion, and he was even more smitten with you when he discovered that it was yours too. His favorite to perform with you is Something Rotten, because not only do you get super into it, but he loves the aesthetic and vibes of that musical. Whenever you two sing God I Hate Shakespeare, he is totally thinking about Jumin the entire time and you think it’s hilarious.

 He knows he could never be as good as Alex Brightman in your eyes, but desperately wants to be at least your second favorite musical actor. At first he was jealous, but eventually just gave up and accepted it as reality. You made him promise that if he ever did a show with Alex Brightman, he would get him to meet you.

 He secretly has a fund that he puts a little bit of money into every month in order to save up to take you to Disneyland. He knows you’re obsessed with the place, and since he’s never been, he knows that you’d be the best tour guide. He loves all the rides, especially the ones that go fast, bonus points if they remind him of riding his motorcycle.

 You had to give him a full on lecture of the importance and greatness of food. The minute you discovered that the only thing he had in his fridge was beer and the occasional convinience store salad, you knew there needed to be a change. He constantly reprimanded you about some of your food choices not being healthy for the skin, but after weeks of ignoring those comments, he decided that they weren’t doing any good. He tried to cook for you, but was really bad at it.

 He could never be convinced to go to any of your favorite fast food places, such as Taco Bell, so you would have to go with Yoosung or Seven if you wanted to go with company. Seven was always down to go, but you would tire a little of Zen bombarding you with questions about if Seven did anything weird afterwards. However, Zen loved going to Whole Foods with you. The two of you could spend hours in there.

 You would always introduce him to new music, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He often wanted you to make him playlists, and you were always happy to oblige. One of his guilty pleasures was Fifth Harmony, and once you caught that you would not let it go. Whenever you didn’t have guests, the two of you would perform your hearts out to those songs. Zen insisted that you could have a career on stage if you wanted it, but you declined immediately every time.

 If the two of you knew you would be having a late night, or if you guys just couldn’t sleep, you would pull up bootleg musicals on the tv and watch them together all night. You two would sometimes watch the bootlegs of his own musicals, which would spark old memories from him, and he would begin to tell stories of crazy interactions with the cast and crew of those shows. You would have to beg him to play his oldest content, such as his debut in Thai’s Tea Leaf and Cube World. He would cringe at his old performances from his teenage years, and although you would poke fun at him for a little bit, by the end you were showering him in love and affection. Your favorite thing was to play Seven’s video that got Zen famous in the first place.

 The two of you always praise each other all the time. It eventually will escalate to a full blown war of love and affection, and at some points it would get so extreme that the rest of the RFA would have to step in. You two were each other’s biggest fans, and would make sure the other knew it. Zen treats you like a goddess at all times, absolutely no exceptions. 

 He would make an attempt at quitting smoking if you asked him to, and would try so hard. He loves you more than anything, and understood that it was for his own health. 

 He wants to show you off always. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he wants everyone to know not only that you are his, but that he is yours. Lots of PDA, this boy can’t help it. Nothing too intense, but lots of handholding and cheek/forehead kisses because he can’t contain himself.

“This couch isn’t big enough for the two of you! Why are you even here?” Zen raised his voice, desperately trying to drag Seven and Yoosung off of your couch. You only watched from the safety of the wall, stifling laughter.

“Because we know you two have been cancelling plans to watch movies! So, we figured we’d have to invite ourselves over for movie night if we ever wanted to see you again.” The redhead rolled his eyes, making himself comfortable. It was clear that he had no intentions of leaving anytime soon.

“I could report you for breaking and entering, you know.” Zen grumbled, while you sighed and put the movie in, knowing that you would be joined by two extra guests that night.

“But you won’t.” Seven stretched out even more, pulling Zen down next to him. “Move, it’s starting.” Infinity War began blaring through the speakers as you made your way back to the couch, not even caring who was with you as long as Zen was there and you got to watch Marvel and see Chris Pratt on screen. 

“Oh sorry, Elise. There’s not room here. Yoosung, Seven, one of you two idiots, move to the floor-”

“It’s fine!” You smiled as you interrupted him, but it was a troublesome smile. The kind of smile that Zen had come to learn would result in mischief. 

“Are you sure? Because there isn’t any room to sit down right now.” He looked at you, red eyes filled with caution while Yoosung was immersed in the beginning of the movie. Only Seven seemed to be aware of the situation, and was smirking while trying to hide a chuckle.

“Sure there is!” You were able to make yourself a seat without kicking anyone off the couch by planting yourself right in Zen’s lap, leaning back against him knowingly. Although you couldn’t see it, you knew his face was bright red. If it were just the two of you, he wouldn’t have cared in the slightest and would have even encouraged it, but the two dorks of the RFA were sitting beside you two.

“Elise, come on-” You held a finger up and shushed him.

“Zen, I swear if you interrupt Chris Pratt with a lecture on your ‘beast’ or whatever, you’re sleeping alone tonight.” That shut him up immediately, and he suffered through the entire two and a half hour long movie, despite his legs going numb halfway through.

[imagine-loki]

Monsters and Magic

TITLE: Monsters and Magic

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 46/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a vampire who helps the Avengers defeat an evil seethe of other vampires, and Loki befriends you after you end up in their custody

RATING: T (so far)

NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

You reappeared in the common room of the tower right as the rest of the team was returning from the convention.  They looked at the pair of you and seemed relieved that you were here and alright.  “Hey kid, it’s alright, we’re all safe,” Cap tried to reassure you, misinterpreting the expression on your face.  You’d been worried about them, but you knew they’d been ok.  Or Fury would have said something or intervened.  

Loki looked over to Thor.  “What happened after I left?” He asked, leaving the question open to anyone who wished to answer, but knew Thor wouldn’t deny him answers and his brother would be quick to help him.

“Hydra ran off like the cowards they are,” Thor snarled. He hated cowards and people who fought without honor.  He would rather face an honorable battle against a stronger opponent than this cowardly warfare any day. “After reminding us of their threat of course,”

Loki nodded and looked to you.  “Darling, tell them your plan to deal with the footage,” he told you urgently.  He sounded proud that you had a solution and wanted your solution implemented quickly so he could kill Schmidt and all the people who had hurt you, or threatened to hurt you. 

You hesitated, the feeling of being useless to the team was still forefront in your mind, but Loki was right.  The team needed to know your plan.  “With a little time, I can make sure the footage stays off the news and internet,” you finally told them softly, shyly.  You saw Loki’s look at your sudden shyness.  It wasn’t like you, though you tended not to go over exaggerating your abilities.

Tony gave you a clearly disbelieving look.  “I know you’re good, kid, but even I’m not that good.  And I built Jarvis,” he told you, questioning your ability. 

You took the hit to your confidence, though Tony should know you better. He knew your abilities better than anyone else here.  Your hackles finally rose and you glared up at Tony.  “I’ve done it before. When I was 10, on a smaller scale granted, but then I only had a jankity old bootleg PC and dialup. Now I have Jarvis and every possible resource I could ask for,” you told him firmly. 

“You have seen how smart she is. She can do anything she sets her mind to, Stark,” Loki added proudly and kissed your temple.

“When did you do it before?” Stark insisted.  This was too important to leave to chance and even he fell into the trap that you looked too young to do what you claimed you could.  

You glared up at him.  “One of the assholes I went to high school with took a video of him having sex with a girl and threatened to send it viral if she didn’t pay him not to. So I took care of the video and made sure it never saw the light of day. And fried his phone while I was at it,”

Stark nodded and looked impressed.  “If you could do that on dialup over ten years ago you can do it with Jarvis,” he finally admitted.  You had over ten more years of experience and knowledge behind you too.  

Loki gave you a warm, proud, smile, and you saw in his eyes that he believed in you without a shadow of a doubt.  It warmed your heart.  “Show us what you can do, kitten,” he told you warmly and kissed your cheek.  The rest of the team agreed with him, glad for this fairly easy fix to the problem at hand.

You nodded, reassured by their faith in you after your run-in with Fury.  You thought it over for a moment.  “Once I get started, I’ll need at least 48 hours straight of no whining at whatever I’m doing from the peanut gallery,” you told them firmly.  You turned to Loki and poked him firmly in the middle of the chest to let him know you meant your next words.  “That includes you,” you informed him with no room for arguments in your tone. 

Loki inclined his head, the formal gesture letting you know that he was taking you seriously.  “I will not “whine” as long as you drink some blood every once and a while. Deal?” He asked for the compromise so you wouldn’t be risking your health.

“You can even bring it to me and watch me drink it yourself,” you agreed with a smile.  You could agree to that compromise. 

“Good,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss you softly. “Why don’t you get started? The sooner you start, the sooner I can get rid of that nuisance of a Hydra agent,”

You kissed him back, then nodded.  “I need a couple things first,” you turned automatically for Nat, and cursed when you realized she was still on the helicarrier. You looked over your options of someone else to ask for help.  “Buck, can you handle a shopping trip?” You asked, low on options of who to trust with this chore.  You summoned a notepad and pen.  Bucky hesitated, but finally agreed.  He didn’t like going out in public, but he would do you the favor.  You only trusted a few people to go out and get you blood without comment, and your supply was running low. Plus you needed more energy drinks and no one wanted to supply you with those.  Apparently you were too much of a giant ball of annoying sunshine without them. You handed him your list and a wad of cash.  “Thank you,” you told him sincerely.

Bucky nodded. “I want Hydra gone as much or more than you do, Striga,” he reminded you and left to go on his shopping trip.  He’d do anything within reason to help you defeat Hydra.  

You went to the kitchen and raided the pantry, grabbing every single energy drink you could find, including Tony’s stash hidden beneath one of the loose floorboards.  You headed down to the computer lab with your arms loaded with energy drinks. Loki took half of them from you, intending to keep you company while you worked. 

“This is going to be very boring,” you warned him as you set up shop after you’d reached the lab, positioning the command chair in front of the giant computer monitors the way you wanted it, getting everything and your mountain of energy drinks situated the way you wanted it.  You used magic to change into comfortable sweat pants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie that should have been in Loki’s closed instead of on you.  You tied your hair out of your way and settled comfortably cross-legged in the oversized desk chair, holographic keyboard in your lap.

You looked over at Loki and hesitated a long, long time before you made your request.  “I could use something, but I can’t summon it from here, and I can’t go get it myself. If I tell you exactly where it is, can you? It would save me a lot of rework…” your voice was hesitant at asking for this favor.  

Loki jumped to help.  “Of course. What do you need?” He asked immediately, willing to help with anything within his abilities.

You nodded, your decision made.  You gave him an address about an hour outside the city.  You described the red brick house and the second floor room with its baby blue walls, twin-sized bed covered in stuffed animals, books on every flat surface, and white computer desk.  You finally described the ancient off-white old-school computer tower under the desk which was Loki’s goal to get for you. “If you cant summon the computer from here, you’re the only one I trust to get in and out of there without being seen,” you told him.  You knew Loki well, if there was one thing in the universe he treasured above anything else, it was when someone specifically stated they trusted him, especially when he was the only one trusted for a task.

This was was vitally important.  

And it was more important that he not be seen.

Loki nodded and you saw the touch of pride in his eyes that he was trusted for this task.  “I’ll be right back, darling,” he promised and disappeared. A minute later he reappeared with the computer tower.  “Is this what you needed?”

“Exactly what I needed,” you replied and stood to take it from him.  You kissed him when you did, then stepped back and looked him over. “You don’t have a gunshot wound, so I assume you weren’t seen… d-did you hear anyone in the house?” You asked him softly, and you didn’t know if you were hoping he had or hadn’t heard or seen anyone in the house.

“I wasn’t there long enough to notice,” he admitted, then considered your question and asked, “Where did you send me?” His voice was concerned, like he should have asked that first.  

You nodded and set the computer on the floor.  “My mom’s house,” you replied as you sat next to the computer.  “Hi Gigo, I missed you buddy,” you told the computer and pet his case like the old friend he was. “Sorry bud, time for surgery,” you said and pulled over the toolbox to start dismantling the ancient computer. Loki just tilted his head slightly, reminding you of a confused puppy.  You fought not to laugh at him.  “Gigo is the ancient computer I did this on last time.  The code I wrote for it is still on the harddrive. I can get the code off to give me somewhere to start from and it’ll save me a lot of time. Mom didn’t clean any of the stuff out of my room after I died, so I knew he was still there. That was my childhood bedroom,” you explained as you worked and carefully removed poor Gigo’s hard drive.

“I should have spent more time there then! I had no idea that was your childhood home,” Loki replied, sounding sorry he hadn’t stayed and checked on your family for you. 

“It was better that you weren’t seen,” you replied, then looked up at him with a mix of curiosity and confusion.  “Where’d you think I sent you that I could describe in that much detail?”  Loki just shrugged in reply, apparently he hadn’t thought about it at all, too focused on his mission.  You removed the hard drive quickly and closed up the case again. “Can you put Gigo back so mom doesn’t notice he’s gone?” You asked, incidentally giving Loki an opportunity to spend more time in the house.

Loki nodded and took the computer tower after giving you another kiss.  He teleported back to the house and decided to snoop around your old room a bit before returning.  It was definitely a teenage girl’s bedroom, though there were way more books and way more advanced textbooks than an normal teenage girl would have. You smirked knowingly when he was gone longer, knowing that he was investigating your old room. 

You connected the hard drive to the computer system in front of you.  You smirked when you’d settled back in the desk chair and clapped your hands twice, much like Tony did when he was getting ready to start on a complicated project. “Look lively J, we’ve got work to do,” you told Jarvis and downed an entire energy drink in one swallow before you got to work.

Loki returned to the lab and kept you company while you worked, occasionally bringing you glasses of heated blood and food to goad you into eating.  You worked on your project for two days straight, surviving on no sleep, all of the energy drinks (including the new stack Bucky brought you from the store), and whatever blood and real food Loki could convince you to eat.   Anyone else who approached you got growled at.  By you.  And Loki if they didn’t listen to you.  Especially Stark when he complained that you were stealing all of Jarvis’ processing power.

Loki started to notice how much all of the work and no sleep were taking a toll on you.  “I don’t mean to interrupt you, darling, but I was curious how much farther you have to go to finish your project?” 

You looked up from your work and nearly growled at him before you realized who was bothering you.  “Not long.  And you promised not to whine,” you reminded him.

He raised his hands in surrender.  “Not whining.  I was simply curious,”

“Good,” you replied and returned to you work.  

The next time Loki asked how much longer it would be he got the same answer of “not long”

As he did the time after that.

And the time after that.

He finally stopped asking.

You didn’t know how long you worked before you pushed away from the computers, turning in the desk chair to face Loki.  “Done,” you announced with a proud, but utterly exhausted, smile.

Loki jumped to his feet from where he was reading in a nearby chair and swept you into his arms with a proud smile.  You were too tired to even protest.  “Excellent news, darling. Now it’s time for exhausted little vampires to rest,” he told you warmly.  You could see in his eyes that he’d been spending the entire time you’d been working making his preparations and plans for how to deal with Schmidt.

Schmidt was going to rue the day he’d threatened you.

[aion-rsa]

The Rod Serling Christmas Movie You Never Saw

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A Christmas Carol is the definitive Christmas story. Yes, you might try and argue it’s the nativity, but the volume of movie adaptations begs to differ, and I can tell your heart’s not in it. And yes, I see those of you rushing to the comments to tell us it’s Die Hard and I think you’re very big and clever.

But A Christmas Carol has everything, all the trappings of Christmas, that sliver of darkness running through the whole thing, and above all a strong seasonal message to remind us what Christmas is about.

The story has been reimagined and retold endless times since Charles Dickens’ book came out, from textually accurate recreations such as A Muppet Christmas Carol (seriously) to modern-day reimagining like the Bill Murray vehicle, Scrooged.

And across all of these different retellings, the seasonal message is usually the first casualty. Scrooge’s lesson is often softened into “charity is good” or “don’t be mean to people”, or, at its worst, Scrooge’s sin is made out to be that he doesn’t like Christmas.

But A Christmas Carol itself is unflinching in its look at poverty, and poverty as a direct result of the actions of the powerful, and Scrooge’s argument for “decreasing the surplus population” still wouldn’t look out of place in several mainstream journalism outlets today. Very few adaptations of the book, even the faithful ones, capture the anger that runs through the original story. It’s not a general anger at the idea of “meanness”. It’s a very specific anger targeting political ideas and rhetoric that people held then and now.

Over a hundred years later, Rod Serling was another writer who wasn’t afraid of using his writing to express political anger. Anyone who’s seen even a handful of episodes of The Twilight Zone will know Serling used his platform to target McCarthyism, war, bigotry, and conformity.

The opening narration of one of the most famous episodes, ‘To Serve Man’, reads:

“The world went on much as it had been going on, with the tentative tip-toeing alongside a precipice of crisis. There was Berlin to worry about, and Indo-China and Algeria and all the other myriad of problems, major and minor, that somehow had lost their edge of horror because we were so familiar with them.”

That atmosphere of dull, routine, existential terror will sound familiar to anyone who has just lived through the post-2016 Hell Years.

But while Serling was determined that The Twilight Zone would tell stories about the issues he cared about, he also had to fight tooth and nail against networks and advertisers that wanted nothing less than to be associated with anything “political”. So Serling’s political messages were frequently veiled in magic, “Men from Mars” and hypothetical futures.

So it’s surprising that, in all 156 original Twilight Zone episodes, most of them written by Rod Serling himself, that the show never tried its own twist on the classic Christmas story that was in many ways tailor-made for the Twilight Zone treatment.

Except Rod Serling did write his own take on A Christmas Carol, as a TV movie featuring Peter Sellers, and it’s been almost completely forgotten.

A Carol for Another Christmas

A Carol for Another Christmas was a TV movie, aired on the American Broadcasting Company on the December 28 1964. It was the first in a planned series of movies promoting the United Nations. The final one of these films, about a UN narcotics agent, is believed to be the last story written by Ian Fleming before his death.

Read more

Movies

A Christmas Carol: The Best and Worst Adaptations

By Robert Keeling

That A Carol for Another Christmas was part of this series is probably why Serling was free to be far more openly and explicitly political than we’ve seen in even the angriest episodes of The Twilight Zone. It takes the line “Mankind was my business!” from Charles Dickens’s story, and turns it into a tale about America’s role on the international stage. It doesn’t linger on the trimmings of Christmas, instead taking a long, hard look at the dead, the dying and the suffering. At times it feels like a Christmas special from the makers of Threads.

The film also boasts a turn by Peter Sellers as a terrifying post-apocalyptic cult leader.

Peter Sellers appears in a modern remake of A Christmas Carol penned by the writer of The Twilight Zone and Planet of the Apes seems like a genuine piece of television history, and yet it’s virtually impossible to find today. Since its first broadcast in 1964, the film was only available to view at the Paley Center for Media in New York and Los Angeles and the UCLA Film and Television Archive in Los Angeles, and rare bootleg copies.

In 2012 TCM broadcast it for the first time since its original showing, and has done annually since, and has made it available for limited-time on-demand streaming via TCM.com. But there has never been a home video or DVD release and the film has never been broadcast elsewhere.

So as we go into a recap of the film itself, we’ll issue the standard spoiler warning, but also beware that if you’re waiting to watch it yourself you might have a long search ahead of you.

Three Very Different Ghosts

Watching A Carol for Another Christmas is a strange experience. The film is both frighteningly relevant but also weirdly dated, and extremely of its time. The structure of the story is the one you already know.

Scrooge- here called “Daniel Grudge”, is approached by his nephew, argues with him about Christmas, then is approached by three ghosts bearing the three usual messages, “You weren’t always this way”, “Others are not like you”, and finally “This is what will happen if you continue this way”.

Grudge, a wealthy industrialist, is approached by his nephew, Fred, who is furious because Grudge has put a stop to a foreign academic exchange scheme, and we’re already seeing here where Serling is leaving the source material behind.

Grudge’s sin isn’t mere miserliness. He’s an all-out American isolationist. He wants the foreigners to stay behind their fences while America stays behind its own, and Fred’s argument that America has no choice but to engage in the international community falls on deaf ears.

Grudge’s motive for this is that his son, Marley, is a soldier who has died fighting a war elsewhere (based on the timing we can reasonably guess it’s Vietnam). He’s angry that every 20 years the US gets dragged into a foreign war, and sees the UN and foreign exchange schemes and similar as getting involved in and giving handouts to places where it isn’t America’s business. His ideal is for the USA to stay behind its fence, building faster jets and bigger bombs so that other countries know to leave it alone.

After seeing a brief apparition of Marley, Grudge is transported to a boat, filled with coffins covered in the flags of different nations. The Ghost of Christmas past that introduces himself to us is as the war dead. Not just the American war dead, but an amalgamation of everyone who ever died in a war.

In a line that will have unexpected resonance for modern viewers, Grudge describes the war dead as a “sucker brigade”.

It’s a fascinating but confusing exchange. Serling, through his stories and his words, was openly against the Vietnam War, and yet his proxy, the Ghost of Christmas Past, makes a passionate case for America’s involvement in foreign wars “every twenty years” with a clear nod towards the combat in Vietnam. Ultimately, the Ghost of Christmas Past is arguing for the importance of talking. “When you don’t talk, you fight,” he says.

The most chilling moment comes when the Ghost reminds Grudge of his comment that other countries need to know America “isn’t too chicken to use the bomb”, and points out that they already know it.

The next scene takes Grudge back to his naval service, inspecting a hospital in Hiroshima after the bomb was dropped, and for a piece of 1960s prime-time Christmas viewing, it does not pull its punches. Rod Serling served in the occupational force in Japan and he has no time for sugar-coating this.

A doctor introduces young Grudge to Japanese children who looked up as the bomb detonated and had their faces flash burned off. The film lingers on these children and refuses to move on until you get a sense of the true horror of Hiroshima. It’s something you can’t picture TV doing today, and definitely not on ABC on the 28th of December.

“Watching Makes all the Difference”

The Ghost of Christmas Present at first seems far more like the one we remember from the Muppets. A man in a dressing gown gorging himself on a banquet. The Ghost of Christmas Present isn’t here to take Grudge on a rooftop flight, however- even with 1960s TV budget permitting.

Read more

TV

How The Twilight Zone Influenced Are You Afraid of the Dark?

By Chris Longo

Instead, the dark background lights up to reveal this banquet table is right next to the barbed wire fence of an internment camp for displaced peoples, another image that is horribly resonant for modern audiences. As Grudge criticises the ghost for eating his feast while starving refugees watch, the Ghost simply responds that the “watching makes all the difference”.

Once again, Serling isn’t here to talk about “the needy” as some vague concept to make people feel better about themselves. He talks about giving people around the world vaccinations for their children, rolls off figures such as 13 million people with tuberculosis, 130 million with malaria, three billion suffering from hunger. He talks about people closing their windows as violent crimes occur in the street- mere months after the murder of Catherine Susan Genovese, the story which would eventually lead to the codifying of the “By-Stander Effect”.

The Ghost of Christmas Past says “You were not always like this”, the “you” is America, the “were not always like this” is (even with Hiroshima) a somewhat rose-tinted view of America’s foreign policy interventions.

The Ghost of Christmas Present says “Others are not like you”, and in this case shows us the suffering around the world and the USA’s responsibility to it.

Anyone who’s seen a version of A Christmas Carol before knows what comes next, and it doesn’t take a Ghost of Christmas Future to guess what the next vision will entail.

Grudge finds himself in his local town hall, a bombed-out wreck. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, a far more verbose spirit of Christmas future than we’ve come to expect, points out that in this future people have “less need for a platform for debate”.

One of the things that most jars with a modern audience watching this film, aside from an oddly uncritical perception of America’s role on the world stage, is the film’s constant refrain that “debate” is a good thing. In this film “debate” is what you do instead of fighting, it’s a way to find compromise, to solve problems. It rings very strangely in a time when “debate” is mostly associated with rhetorical games played in bad faith, and the idea we have some sort of duty to listen to and validate even the most toxic ideas.

We learn, unsurprisingly, that when the talking stopped the fighting started, and now the last few humans are living in the radioactive ruins of the civilisation that came before.

Then we meet Peter Sellers’ character, the Imperial Me. This is Sellers at his most comic and sinister, dressed up like an 18th-century pilgrim wearing a huge hat with “ME” written on it in giant sequins. Sellers is leading a horde of post-apocalyptic cultists to war against a nearby community that wants to “talk” and “debate”. The Imperial Me takes Grudge’s philosophy to its ultimate extreme, all that anyone should look out for is themselves. The Individual Me is above all, and after this tribe has killed off all the other rival tribes, they will set to killing each other, until the last individual is alone in the perfect society.

I’ve friends who work in the NHS with patients who won’t wear a mask “because it protects you, it doesn’t protect me”, so this scene hasn’t lost any of its bite.

Anyway, you know how the story goes from here. Grudge asks if these are things that will be or things that may be. He wakes up at home on Christmas morning. He reconciles with his nephew, admitting that “no man is an island”.

Read more

TV

The Twilight Zone Forever: Celebrating 60 Years of Rod Serling’s Classic Anthology

By Anne Serling

But one thing this version misses is Grudge doesn’t then go on to eat a fabulous feast with his family. Instead, he takes his morning coffee in the kitchen, while his black servants work around him (and probably wish he’d sod off back to his study). It’s an oddly sparse ending compared to what we’re used to with our Christmas Carols.

Carols for Other Christmases

At the time this strange, didactic retelling of A Christmas Carol saw mixed reactions. It’s a film that doesn’t mind lecturing its audience, and quite a few reviewers took against it for that. The right-wing advocacy group the John Birch Society particularly took against it, organising a letter-writing campaign against the film before it was even broadcast.

Is the film preachy? Hell yes. But so is the source material. Where it differs from the source material is that it offers far less comfort, far less of the warmth we see with Fred and Fezziwig and Bob Cratchit, while the threats it warns of are a great deal more severe.

Perhaps it’s a film that is most interesting as an artefact of a particular time and the anxieties it had.

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But also it’s an example of the power of Charles Dickens’s story when it’s allowed to be more than a twee festive tradition. It’s a story that should have a sharp political bite as much as warm fuzzy nostalgia. As much as it’s a Christmas story, A Christmas Carol is a ghost story, and ghost stories are meant to be scary.

The post The Rod Serling Christmas Movie You Never Saw appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[oof-i-did-it-agaaiiin]

So I’m not here to give you homework, plus I don’t wanna overload your system, but if any of these spark your interest let me know I can recommend more based on them. I’ve categorized this into two groups, shows I’d recommend to anyone and shows I’d recommend to you, tumblr user crawford villainmuppet, specifically.

Sorry for formatting this so formally, it’s the neurodivergent in me.

Shows I love dearly:

Jesus Christ Superstar - This is one of my favorite pieces of art ever. Not preachy. It’s about jesus, not Jesus. With music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by Tim Rice it’s the kind of story that will leave you thinking about it long after it’s stopped playing. Plus it’s a rock opera. The 70s movie version of it is campy but enjoyable in my opinion, but you could also easily find a bootleg of a stage production if you wanted to. There have been many different productions over the years.

Hadestown - The best musical contemporary Broadway has to offer currently. Genuinely so beautiful. I have nothing more to say other than ‘listen to it.’

Next to Normal - Very heavy subject matter so look up a trigger warning list for this show before you consider watching it. A fantastic pop rock score with a heart wrenching story that Will make you cry as much as it will make you headbang. Very near and dear to my heart.

Into the Woods - I grew up with this show. With music and lyrics by the Broadway legend Stephen Sondheim (may his memory be a blessing) it’s nostalgic and beautiful and surprisingly funny! There’s a reason it’s beloved by so many. Don’t watch the movie version though, watch this professionally filmed version found on YouTube HERE.

Shows for you:

Company - I recommended you a song from this and you said you really liked it. Another Sondheim show, it deals with topics of marriage and love in adult life. I’ve never finished Falsettos but it reminds me a bit of this show. Beautiful and memorable songs that will definitely go on your playlists. I’d recommend THIS filmed version to watch and THIS album to casually listen to.

The Producers -  Written and directed by Mel Brooks who is famous for his comedies, and oh boy is this a comedy. Big BoM vibes in its sense of humor. Has a well-made movie version of it that’s definitely worth the watch featuring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane.

Twisted - (Of course I’m going to push my Starkid agenda on you.) Off-Broadway. This is a parody of the Disney movie Aladdin, it is so very funny and heartwarming with great nostalgic sounding music. Perfect to watch with friends. You can watch a professionally filmed version of it for free on YouTube HERE. (If you enjoy this I’d be glad to recommend more shows by Starkid. I’m a super fan of theirs, in fact they’re what this blog was originally about.)

Love’s Labor’s Lost - Off-Broadway. This one’s a bit more out there. It’s based on a Shakespeare play of the same name, one of his comedies. It’s about romance in young adulthood and it’s so very charming, it surprised me when I first listened to it how sweet and fun it is and how much I enjoyed the music. Unfortunately it’s a pretty deep cut so I can’t imagine there any bootlegs of it out there, the best way to experience it is probably just listening to it on spotify HERE.

I KNOW WHAT CHEESY HORROR MOVIE YOU NEED TO WATCH IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT ALREADY Little Shop Of Horrors!!! You may have heard of it, it’s an 80s horror comedy musical based on a broadway show (but the movie adaption is very good) with a pathetic little protagonist and fantastic puppetry. And it’s directed by Frank Oz.

OH MY GOD I LOVE LITTLE SHOP SO MUCH ive only seen the movie atp but I’ve been meaning to watch the broadway show for so long <\3

[netflixmess]

By The Fader .

In Oslo, weekend nights are everything.

That’s partly because of Norway’s strict liquor laws, and also the general social drinking culture, which both tend to encourage weekend binges. People of all ages are normally reserved during the week, keeping their heads down as they go to class and to work, rarely speaking to strangers. Come Friday, though, all bets are off.

In early October 2016, a weekend party was in full swing, at a nice flat with tall ceilings in Grünerløkka, a cool neighborhood in central Oslo. Young, good-looking people were drinking and laughing, talking and flirting. Music was playing loudly — a bass-heavy Norwegian pop song, or maybe something by an American rapper.

At one point, someone started shouting, and asked for the music to be turned down. If this was a bad movie, there might have been a record scratch sound. Following a couple seconds of chaos, it became clear what was happening: a new Skam clip had been posted to the internet. “Oh my God!” someone screamed. “I’m not prepared,” said another. Within minutes, someone had pulled it up on their phone, and the party fell silent for the whole segment, as if collectively hypnotized. Anyone who tried to speak was swiftly shut down. There were no objections: it was time to watch.

That’s exactly how it went down, at least according to Erlend, a scruffy 25-year-old who works in the Norwegian music industry. He lives in Oslo, a.k.a. the birthplace of Skam, a ridiculously popular coming-of-age drama series that depicts the lives of fictional local teenagers. Even though it’s only been around since 2015, Skam, which is produced by NRK, a government-owned public broadcaster, and the biggest media company in Norway, is one of the most adored programs in the nation’s history, with about a quarter of the four million-person population watching each clip. It might also be one of the best TV shows about high school ever made.

Skam, which means “shame” in Norwegian, is released in real-time, with zero warning. If a scene takes place at school on a Tuesday afternoon, the clip goes up on the show’s website Tuesday afternoon. If it takes place at one in the morning at a Saturday night house party, like the first scene of the third season, which Erlend and his friends watched together last year, then it’s uploaded on a Saturday night. At week’s end, the clips, which vary in length but are rarely longer than 15 minutes, are rolled into a single “episode,” which airs on television. For now, if you live outside Scandinavia, the only way to watch Skam is illegally, via fan blogs who upload the episodes, usually to Google Drive or YouTube, and write their own subtitles. In other words: they’re doing God’s work.

Every season of Skam follows a different student at Hartvig Nissen, a real public school in Oslo, where a few of the show’s main actors are actively enrolled. The first season tracks Eva, a nervous, big-hearted 16-year-old who starts high school on the outs from her old clique. Noora, a headstrong feminist who strikes up an unlikely romance up with an older, brawl-starting ladies’ man named William, is at the center of Season 2. Season 3, which aired in the final months of 2016, is all about Isak, a baby-faced teen coming to terms with his sexuality. The fourth season, which began airing the second week of April, is about Sana, a muslim teen who always speaks her mind. The day the trailer dropped, it was announced on Instagram that Sana’s season would be the show’s final one.

Though it’s entirely scripted, Skam is good at blurring the lines between drama and reality. The characters (not the actors) have their own Instagram accounts, which are updated in time with the events of the show, and their fictional text messages, written by 27-year-old web producer Mari Magnus, are posted on the Skam site between clips. Sometimes a short conversation between two characters can stir up more suspense for viewers than a whole episode. The Skam team — headed up by director, screenwriter, and all-around mastermind Julie Andem, 34 — doesn’t allow the cast to do interviews often, partly because they are actually very young, but also because they want to safeguard the show’s tightly wound universe, to preserve the illusion that these characters could almost be real.

Andem, who declined to be interviewed for this piece, doesn’t do very much press either, especially outside of Scandinavia. This strategy has created an uncommonly intense relationship between the show and its audience. Fans invest in the characters' lives as if they were their friends, refreshing frantically, waiting for a clip or a text message as if their own life depended on it. Soap operas have long provided people around the world an escape from everyday traumas. Skam is helping people cope in a new way, by making the real world a more exciting place to be. Of course it’s all just pretend, but sometimes you need to make believe if you want to feel something real.

Oslo is frigid in March, and it snows a lot — gently, on and off. For someone whose first window into Norwegian culture was watching Skam bootlegs, exploring the city is kind of like walking through a film set. Bus stops, icy parks, a line of cottages on a slanted street. Everything looks familiar, but in an uncanny sort of way. It’s clean and quiet, especially on weeknights. It’s small, too, presenting itself as its own self-contained little universe, like the inside of a snow globe.

Every person I speak to in Oslo, from the noodle-limbed checkout guy at the corner store to a middle-aged festival organizer visiting from Denmark, knows what Skam is, and most of them have seen it. When I finally meet someone who seemed to know nothing about it — my Airbnb host, a lawyer in her early 30s — it’s actually just a mixup. “Ohhh, I thought you said Scandal or something,” she says, laughing. “I love Skam. I’ve seen every episode.”

No one expected it to get this massive, at least not according to Andreas Blaauw-Hval, a 32-year-old NRK communications manager who, along with his colleague Nathalie Sprus, handles all P.R. for the show. They’re the gatekeepers of the Skam universe, fielding calls from reporters all over the world on a daily basis, and saying “no” to nearly everything. “I think a lot of journalists, and our colleagues in the TV business, find this kind of arrogant,” Blaauw-Hval says. “But it's for the best of the series.”

Sprus and Blaauw-Hval are sitting in a plain-looking coffee shop in Frogner, a pretty neighborhood that feels upscale, but not in an ostentatious way. The café appeared in an episode of Skam once, and it’s just a couple blocks from the high school at which a big bulk of the show is filmed. “It's important to emphasize that the strategy was made before anyone knew how big it would be,” Blaauw-Hval says. “Our job is to try to maintain it, to keep it low-key and exclusive.”

It’s all just pretend, but sometimes you need to make believe if you want to feel something real.

When the show was launched in 2015, it was part of NRK’s attempt to connect with older Norwegian teens who seemed to spend most of their time on Netflix, or caught up in their own lives. Its creator, Julie Andem, who’d previously worked on Jenter, an NRK show for tweens with a similar short-burst real-time release format, was meticulous about accuracy from the get-go. She spent months traveling around and interviewing Norwegian teenagers about everything: sex, drugs, dating, their friends, their fears, their dreams. A lot of the show’s characters were loosely based on real people she met, or composites of several.

Next they started auditions, sitting with 1,200 kids born between 1996 and 2000. “At first people weren’t that interested,” Andem explained in 2016, during a rare TV interview that someone translated and posted on YouTube, in which she comes across as stern but likable. “NRK hadn’t made anything for [older teens], so they were skeptical,” she said. The cast they eventually settled on included a couple locally known child actors, but was dominated by amateur young nobodies, whose raw performances help elevate Skam to greatness. When 19-year-old Lisa Teige, who plays Eva, stresses out over a Facebook message to a potential new friend, it feels not just real, but true.

When it came time to release the first clip, Andem and her team, which includes producer Marianne Furevold-Boland, shared the link with tastemakers from the audition pool, as well as the cast. “The producers wanted the kids to find the series themselves,” says Nathalie Sprus from NRK, 31, who has brown hair with highlights and is almost always smiling. “Their worst nightmare was that a parent would read a news article about ‘this new cool show for kids’ and recommended it to theirs.” Furevold-Boland says this unorthodox, rumor-based strategy “creates loyalty, and a feeling of unity and ownership among teens,” adding that despite its unprecedented success with viewers of all ages, Skam is still made with its teenage target audience in mind.

“I watch Skam because I can relate, to the people and to the parties,” says Henrik, a beer-drunk 21-year-old, in a tented bar beside a church turned concert venue. He speaks in a nasally drawl, like an extra from a Nordic remake of Dazed & Confused. He tells me about russefeiring, the extremely Norwegian tradition in which crews of graduating high schoolers literally purchase a bus to party on for a couple weeks during their final semester. The celebrations, which start after the students turn 18 and can thus can guzzle beer legally, happen all over Norway, but are a huge deal in Oslo specifically. Henrik says kids here often make plans for “russ time” years in advance. Groups have recruited pop singers to record official theme songs for their bus; a bus might spend up to $17,000 USD on music alone, an Oslo-based English-language newspaper reported in 2014.

Russ is a big plot point in Skam. Eva joins a “bus” after her skater boyfriend Jonas encourages her to make new friends. Her search leads her to Noora, a poised new girl with a thing for red lipstick; Vidle, a Type A, russ-obsessed neurotic; Sana, a smart, snarky Muslim teen; and Chris, an unrestrained goofball behind some crucial moments of comic relief. Neither cool nor explicitly uncool, they’re the sort of relatable misfits you can’t help but cheer for. “Just acknowledge that we’re losers,” Sana says to the girls during a russ meeting in the first season. “So you think you’re a loser yourself?” Vidle aks, visibly perturbed. Sana responds: “I'm a Muslim girl in a faithless country — I'm the biggest loser of them all.”

The russ subplot is mostly on the back burner in Season 3, which tells the story of Isak, a confused, self-hating teenager played by a gifted 17-year-old named Tarjei Sandvik Moe, one of the actors who attends Hartvig Nissen in real life. While the earlier seasons hinted that Isak was grappling with something, his sexuality comes to the forefront in this one, which traces his messy romance with Even, a hip, handsome classmate with secrets of his own. All of Skam is gorgeously executed, but it’s Season 3 that feels like straight-up perfect television; you’d be hard pressed to find a more authentic depiction of young queer love. Isak’s realizations, about the tricky business of loving yourself enough to care for someone else too, never feel forced. They come slowly, with lots of help from friends, in a way that feels heartbreakingly true-to-life.

“I think the third season has a really relevant and really clear theme,” explains Elise By Olsen, the 17-year-old editor of an Oslo youth culture magazine called Recens Paper, one afternoon at an indoor food market on the Akerselva river's western bank. Olsen, who is something of a budding fashion icon in Norway, is a big believer that teenagers are more capable than adults give them credit for, and says that she wishes more young people were actively involved in the day-to-day production of Skam. She says she didn’t get into watching the show live until Season 3, which impressed her by tackling issues of sexuality and mental health. “It sort of normalized this stuff, which is quite rare here in Norway,” she explains. Olsen is also friends with some of the cast, including Henrik Holm, who plays Even. “One time he tagged me in a photo and I got, like, 2,000 new followers,” she says.

In Season 2, Noora and William’s will-they-won’t-they arc helped grow the show’s audience, particularly within Norway, but it was the Even and Isak love story that took Skam to the next level. Some truly adorable screenshots of the boys cuddling went viral on Tumblr, which led people across the globe to investigate where it had come from. Now, Skam’s is one of the more voracious TV fandoms in recent memory; in March, Isak and Even came first in E! Online’s fan-picked “TV's Top Couple” contest, by winning millions of votes from fans across the world. “Not bad for a Google Drive show,” one English-speaking stan account tweeted in celebration. “That they managed to win the poll proves there's a very strong engagement,” says Norwegian academic Vilde Schanke Sundet, who has a PhD in television studies from the University of Oslo. “The Norwegians cannot vote alone — you need to get your fan community organized,” she continues. Sundet, who’s working on a post-doctoral study about Skam, says the discourse within the fan community actually mirrors the tone of show, tackling serious topics in a respectful way. There’s a comment section under each official clip, too. “You can check it almost like a newspaper, or your Facebook,” Sundet says.

Part of what makes Skam feel like a news feed is its tight production schedule. According to producer Furevold-Boland, there’s a very short time between idea and execution, which “creates a great energy among the team members,” and also allows the show to respond to real events as they happen. Season 4 will do that by focusing on Sana, who is played confidently by 20-year-old hijabi actress Iman Meskini. “The point was to make a character that chooses her own relation to her religion,” Andem said in that interview on YouTube. “She has strong faith, but she doesn’t need to relate to the whole package the culture is trying to push on her.”

Sana introduces a lot of lofty ideas to Skam, often schooling her friends by offering a different perspective — adding important context to their private dramas without ever diminishing them. “War doesn’t start with violence, it starts with misunderstanding and prejudice,” she tells Noora, whose rigid ideals are challenged throughout the show. “If you say you’re in favor of a world full of peace you actually have to try to understand why others think and act the way they do.”

Despite her typically prickly exterior, Sana has a romantic side, and is an intensely loyal friend. Fans are excited about her season because, from a narrative standpoint, there’s still a lot left to learn about her. But her story feels especially meaningful now, as conversations around islamophobia and xenophobia have never been more urgent, in Scandinavia and beyond. The same day NRK released the trailer for Season 4, a suspected terrorist attack in Stockholm killed four and wounded several others, thrusting Sweden’s open door stance towards migrants and refugees into the global spotlight. In February, Donald Trump blamed a terrorist attack that never happened on Sweden’s liberal immigration policy, and in January he signed a highly contentious and swiftly overturned executive order to keep refugees and immigrants out of the U.S., specifically targeting seven predominantly Muslim nations.

The surprising news that this will be Skam’s last season stings, but if it has to end, Sana’s story feels like a good place to stop — with a reminder that the show isn’t just fodder for insatiable fans, but important, too. Sana isn’t a real person, but she has the potential to be a visible and outspoken role model for real young women, with real stigmas, who have real needs. The trailer for her season is soundtracked by a Nina Simone cover, sung by Yusuf Islam, the artist and convert to Islam formerly known as Cat Stevens. The clip runs in reverse, making the song virtually unrecognizable. Play it forward though, and you’ll hear the words: “I'm just a soul whose intentions are good/ Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.”

Being a teenager is a beautiful mess. It’s miserable in a lot of ways, but there’s also something strangely poetic about the urgency of it all, the way your little high school world is constantly expanding and collapsing in on itself. Like the greatest shows about teenage life — My So-Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, the sometimes overly schmaltzy Degrassi — Skam never trivializes these feelings.

Even as a 26 year old, I was swept up in Skam straight away. I wish it had been around when I was younger, though I always remind myself it couldn’t have. It’s so inextricably connected to modern digital behavior, which is in itself a hopeful reflection of the things that are good about being young right now, and the way social media has created lifelines for teenagers looking for others who understand them and care what they have to say, whether they’re queer, religious outcasts, or die-hard megafans of a teen drama from Norway.

One of my personal favorite scenes is a quiet one, during which Isak opens up about his sexuality to his best friend Jonas. He tells him that he has romantic feelings for Even after school, over kebabs. Jonas doesn’t flinch; it’s obvious he doesn’t mind who his friend dates. It’s borderline tear-jerking in its casualness, a total non-event. One afternoon, I ride past the kebab shop from that same scene. I pull out my phone to snap a photo of the storefront, and one of the employees in the window, who’s probably getting used to fans appearing out of nowhere, laughs and covers his face.

Later, I walk into an old church with big wooden doors and a clock tower steeple. It’s the setting of another emotional scene from Isak’s season, one that aired a little before Christmas. It features a cameo by Norwegian performance artist Nils Bech, who sings a haunting, Swedish-language rendition of “O Holy Night,” in this very church.

When, on another night, I share a drink with Bech in the back of a crowded bar downtown, he says his cover of the iconic holiday staple was a kind of political statement. He relates the song’s biblical lyrics about God’s son dying for our sins to LGBTQ folk’s long-term struggle for visibility; to him, the words are directed at his gay peers, urging them to think about those who fought for equality before them. “I wanted to say, Hey people! Remember that someone, in a way, died for us to be able to be us!” Like the song, Skam itself is a symbol of how far we’ve come, and a reminder of how much work is left to do.

The reaction to the track was wild, Bech says, with admiring notes from fans and other artists pouring in straight away — a testament to the power of Skam. I asked what he thinks it is about the show that reaches people in such a unique, special way. “When you fall in love, it's always so fucking difficult,” he says, laughing. “And I love the way [Julie Andem] showed that. I think a lot of people watching realized, ‘Oh, it's not about being gay or straight or whatever — love is love.’” He took a sip of beer. “At least that’s why I like it so much.”

Late last year, it was announced that an English-language remake of the show is in the works for U.S. and Canadian audiences, with backing from American Idol producer Simon Fuller. Most Skam fans I talk to are skeptical to say the least, sometimes citing MTV’s tone deaf, too-faithful take on the U.K.’s druggy high school show Skins as an example of just how terribly these translations can go. The real-time rollout and the digital elements can be replicated easily, but the content can’t. “If the show wasn't good, you wouldn't let yourself be so engaged,” Vilde Schanke Sundet tells me.

“I think a lot of people watching realized, ‘Oh, it’s not about being gay or straight or whatever — love is love.’” —Nils Bech

Skam has earned large fan groups in a lot of places, including but not limited to the U.K., the Philippines, China, and the United States. For supporters who stop in from out of town, there is a map of shooting locations on VisitOslo.com, the city’s official travel guide. But there’s occasionally some tension between local fans and tourists, and some Norwegians feel like they understand the show in a more significant way than their international counterparts.

“Norwegian fans are really protective,” Sundet says when we meet in a gift shop near the entrance of The Vigeland Park, a huge sculpture garden full of twisty, snow-covered footpaths, before explaining the unspoken cultural rules known as the Law of Jante, which prohibits citizens from ever thinking they’re superior to anyone else. “They will tell international fans off, saying, ‘You can't go into the school,’ or ‘You need to ask before you take the pictures,’” she explained. “This is a social democracy, so the idea of someone sticking out is strongly bound in our culture. We don't have the kind of superstars that you have in Hollywood.”

That famous and non-famous people have been historically afforded the same level of respect and attention in Norway adds a layer of relatability to Skam, and helps the stories feel more personal. But the show is also a straight-up global phenomenon, one that has pushed the small Nordic society into uncharted waters by complicating these long-standing ideas about what it means to “stick out.” It’s all emblematic of another reason the show is so intoxicating: it’s reflecting back small ways the world is changing, in real time.

One night, I walk around Oslo at dusk. I walk past book shops and clothing stores and chain coffee shops and markets. I walk past churches and houses and apartments and parks. I look at the people who pass me on the street. I look at their bulky scarves and puffy jackets and fuzzy wool gloves. At some point, I start to see the Skam characters in all of their faces.

For one second, I convince myself that I actually do see Henrik Holm — the actor who plays Even, Isak’s dreamy love interest. If it is him, he’s walking fast in the opposite direction, talking into a cell phone and dragging a suitcase behind him. Suddenly, for a split second, we’re right next to each other and out of the corner of my eye, I decide that it’s really him. I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure. I awkwardly stop walking and whip around, but he’s got long legs and a quick stride, and is already on the next block.

[thealpacalypse-archive]

1-50 #notevensorry #ily

oh wow, so much for going to bed early today^^

1. what’s your favorite musical?

ALL OF THEM

but my top faves over the years have been Elisabeth, 3 Musketiers, Into The Woods, RENT, Jesus Christ Superstar, Book of Mormon, Hamilton, and most recently, Dear Evan Hansen

2. favorite character in your favorite musical?

Robert from Company, Elphaba, The Witch from Into The Woods, Angel from RENT

3. what’s your favorite play?

bruh, SO MANY. recently i’m really into chekhov again, I recently saw an amazing Ivanov. other than that, I’m absolutely into Shakespeare, and I have a weakness for Schillers Die Räuber. Oh, and Andorra by Max Frisch.4. favorite character in your favorite play?

Viola from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night maybe?? I love her.

5. what’s your dream role?

macbeth. andri in Andorra. Robert in Company. Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. Antigone.

6. what’s a role you’d like to play that you’d never be able to?

I’m probably never able to play any of the roles I just mentioned, so…

7. do you prefer being behind the scenes or in the spotlight?

i mean going into dramaturgy, I will have to be happy with staying behind the scenes, but my heart will always bleed because I’m not on stage

8. do you like hamilton?

IT’S MY JAM I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CRY

9. have you seen hamilton?

AND I CRY SOME MOREmaybe one day, now that it’s coming to London

10. how do you feel about hyped up shows like hamilton, les mis, and rent?

Honestly, I couldn’t care less about how hyped they are. I love all my faves equally, doesn’t matter if it’s Wicked or some obsure 40’s book musical no one has played for decades. the good thing about hyped shows is: better cast recordings, better bootlegs, movie versions, all that nice stuff.

11. did you like this year’s tony awards?

didn’t watch the last tonys tbh. i don’t even know why, there wasn’t any particular reason

12. what award should there be that isn’t?

huh, don’t know, maybe one that specifically honours female writers and composers?

13. what shows have you been in/helped with?

mostly plays: my first one was Andorra, then a Shakespeare mashup thingie, then an original play about a teen with Aids, then an awesome one that was called The Trojan War Will Not Take Place, then Pension Schöller, then I was singing Carmina Burana, then Andorra again, and then a revue kinda thingie where we did various songs from musicals, operetta, opera, some choreographies, some other stuff… I probably forgot a few things, but oh well.

14. have you ever been paid to act onstage or on camera?

haha nope

15. do you prefer broadway or west end shows?

well I’ve never been to broadway. I’ve seen a couple of shows on west end tho. but one day I will go to Broadway and watch all the shows. have to get awfully rich first though

16. favorite stage actress?

Pia Douwes was one of my first stage crushes. of the german speaking ones, I also really love Sabrina Weckerlin, Annemieke van Dam, Lucy Scherer, Isabel Dörfler and Kerstin Ibald. Internationally, i have a huge crush on Kelli O'Hara, Phillipa Soo, and Alexia Khadime.

17. favorite stage actor?

Carl van Wegberg was my first crush, 12 years ago in Elisabeth. Rasmus Borkowski tho. And Oliver Arno and Serkan Kaya and Ben Platt and Nic Rouleau and tbh I have a bit of a thing for Aaron Tveit. Neil Patrick Harris, I know, I know, but DAMN i’m still not over his “Being Alive” and never will be.

18. favorite show currently or recently running?

Might be Dear Evan Hansen. I don’t know it well enough yet to say for certain, but damn, I love it!!!!

19. what’s your dream #ham4ham (even if you don’t like hamilton)?

my favorite one? obviously the schuyler georges. and the one where they got various people to do guns and ships. or is the question, who would I want to be at a ham4ham? Then my answer is Dame Julie Andrews of course. damn, forgot to mention her at my fave actresses.

20. who should host the tony’s next year?

LMM? With Dwayne The Rock Johnson as a co-host.

21. do you watch broadwaycom backstage vlogs?

from time to time. though it’s been ages since i last did that.

22. what’s your opinion on movies turned into musicals?

well, everything is turned into musicals these days. I don’t care so much what the source material is, as long as the music is good and the characters are great and it works with the plot. i mean, generalizing doesn’t really work, because you got stuff like Heathers, and then something like the Spiderman musical, so…

23. do you prefer musical movies or live musicals?

i love both, for very different reasons. i mean live theatre though. i have yet to find anything in this world that compares to it.

24. do you have an opinion on american psycho?

haven’t seen it. don’t care about it.

25. what movie would you want to be turned into a musical?

hmm. something gay. Imagine Me And You maybe? Or, wait, hold on, holy shit. PRIDE THE MUSICAL.

26. what role would you like to see your favorite actor play?

umm…. Ben Platt should go places, and get the parts he wants to have, and get to create new parts, because he’s amazing and he deserves it and I would probably watch him play a banana peel for two hours straight because he’d be amazing at that as well.

27. do you prefer musicals, plays, or operas?

I LOVE ALL OF IT???? DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE THAT’S SO RUDE

28. dramatic plays or comedies?

again, cannot choose. both is good.

29. andrew lloyd webber or stephen sondheim?

Sondheim, always. I love JCS and I will fight anyone for the trash show that is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, but that’s about it with Webber. Sondheim hasn’t done anything wrong in his life, ever, and I know this, and I love him.

30. neil patrick harris or james corden?

i mean, I love James Corden, but I mentioned it before, NPH in Company. BRUH.

31. did james corden do a good job hosting the tony’s (in your opinion)?

don’t know, didn’t see it

32. create a show mash-up and explain the plot (ex: legally todd = sweeney todd + legally blonde)

umm???? okay I’m tired and not very clever anymore, so the only thing I can come up with is

hamilrent - a couple of angry twenty- and thirtysomethings trying to make a change in american politics while being broke af

33. what song always makes you cry?

“Being Alive”. Isn’t it boring that I keep on bringing this up over and over again? I know. I still cry. Also “Children Will Listen” from Into The Woods. And “Wo ist der Sommer” from 3 Musketiers. And so far, “You Will Be Found” from Dear Evan Hansen.

34. how do you feel about musicals using other artists’ music?

like in jukebox musicals? I’m mostly trash for it tbh. We Will Rock You is such a trash fest but I love it, and I will always fight anyone on Mamma Mia.

35. what celebrity would you like to see on broadway next?

idk amandla stenberg?

36. favorite show you’ve been in?

we did a huge medley of “Im Weißen Rössl” once and tbh i love this operetta. it’s cheesy af but who cares.

37. would you like to act professionally?

i would. i gave that up a while ago though, when I realized I was too disabled to be accepted into acting schools.

38. television or stage acting?

i would personally always choose the stage over television acting, but I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other

39. what disney movie should be a musical that isn’t?

not sure if moana could work on stage but damn i love that music

40. if you could see one show on broadway or west end, what would it be?

i really miss book of mormon and I want to see it again, but hamilton or dear evan hansen would be first i guess. or fun home.

41. what musical should be revived next?

i’m so glad miss saigon is coming back, i love it. how about we bring back Into The Woods?

42. are musical sequels okay?

i personally don’t care much for them, but i don’t condemn them. like, i dislike theatre that’s made solely for the purpose of making money, which is something sequels are usually about. but that doesn’t mean that sequels are always and will always be a bad thing.

43. what musical sequel would you like there to be that isn’t?

umm???? well it would make sense for there to be a wicked sequel, since the book has a sequel as well? or, maybe not exactly a sequel, but more history musicals in the style of hamilton? that’d be rad.

44. have you ever had a crush on a character from a show?

umm. … no? *sweats nervously* why would you ask that…….? … never

45. how do you feel about musicals being done live on tv now?

i think it’s a cool idea in general, making musicals more accessible to a wider audience, in a way that’s closer to live theatre. i just think the format is still too new and it needs a lot more practice until it’s going to work.

46. did you like grease live?

haven’t seen it

47. are you excited for hairspray live?

i was really excited beforehand, and then i was absolutely disappointed because it was more racist, more sexist, more ableist, and generally worse than the movie version, and while the cast was good, it wasn’t good enough to save bad directing.

48. what show do you desperately want your school/community to do?

well, I want RENT to be back in Germany, and not in the horrible German translation please. Maybe my current employer could get on that? they’re known for excellent stagings of musicals, and they also did Anything Goes in the english original.

49. are you a stronger singer or dancer?

i’m not great at either but I love doing both. since my body is a bit shit though, I suppose i have a slight advantage for my singing.

50. would you rather design the set, direct the show, or help with effects?

i already helped with video and audio effects once, that was fun. i’m no good at set design, and directing doesn’t sound too bad, but I’m not into the creative pressure that comes along with directing. i think I’ll just stick to my dramaturgy. :P

thanks love, for all the questions!